The Head Chipmunk (HRC) has a question the overrides all other questions in this second week of the spring season. It's a simple question--"for this, I went to grad school?". The question pops into HRC's acorn addled brain a lot these days:
When she must meet with a barely competent sloth to discuss his consistent body odor (you have a PhD for God sakes, man...I mean, sloth…can't you figure out how to shower)?
When she must "counsel" a sloth on his obsessive discussions of his divorce and "horrible" ex while HRC worries and wonders if he may go off the rails one day. Does this sloth hate just the ex or all pussy cats?
"Counseling" a super sloth that while this job is as close to being self employed as one can be but still get sick time, PTO, employer health insurance/pension etc, it's not being self-employed so you gotta show up, do the basics, turn in required paperwork on time, etc. and when you tell HRC that the reason you resist responding to her emails and requests for work product is because you have issues from your childhood with authority (the HRC suspects its female authority only)...see thats really just called being a passive aggressive sloth.
When she ponders what is up with grown man-sloths who wear only shorts to the forest office year-round in even freezing cold weather. Man-child sloth? And if you are going to only wear shorts, please don't free ball, too. None of us need to see that and the HRC is totally willing to counsel you on that and you don't want to see the toothy look on a nutless chipmunk's face as she discusses your peek-a-boo balls and their inappropriateness in the forest.
And it is with all this she sits in her quiet corner of the glen, closes her door and thinks, "For this shit, I went to grad school?"
