A message

When I went to the dump yesterday, this glorious Chipmunk greeted me. It's a sign from the chipmunk gods. I don't know what it's a sign of but it's a sign of something. A message from the Woodland Glen?

Elephant poop

The Head Chipmunk got herself in a political mess. One she should have avoided. It was like a big pile of elephant poop right in the middle of the Woodland Glen and she jumped right in. Now that she is buried up to her chubby cheeks, all alone, with no allies and even friends mad at her, swimming in shit, trying to find the edge to climb out, all she can think is "why, why, why am I such an idiot? I saw it was a big pile of elephant poop and I still jumped right in."

Correlation VS Causation

The Head Chipmunk realized that things seemed unusually quiet and calm in the Woodland Glen this week. Then she realized that the Golden Eagle had been called into Jury Duty since Friday. Correlative only or perhaps a causative relationship could be established?

Heros

When an academic hero of yours at NYU hears about the little project you are running all the way across the country in your small woodland glen and talks to you on the phone (like in person and everything) to tell you he is "excited by your work" and wants to know if he can "help in any way" and "what you are doing is exciting and important" and "I'll get it published for you, if you don't have the time to write" and wants to set up another time to talk and thinks your methods are "better" than his original research.....well, its a weird and wonderful day for a chipmunk who almost didn't graduate high school because she flunked geometry...twice.

The Chipmunk has a question

The Head Chipmunk (HRC) has a question the overrides all other questions in this second week of the spring season. It's a simple question--"for this, I went to grad school?". The question pops into HRC's acorn addled brain a lot these days:

When she must meet with a barely competent sloth to discuss his consistent body odor (you have a PhD for God sakes, man...I mean, sloth…can't you figure out how to shower)?

When she must "counsel" a sloth on his obsessive discussions of his divorce and "horrible" ex while HRC worries and wonders if he may go off the rails one day. Does this sloth hate just the ex or all pussy cats?

"Counseling" a super sloth that while this job is as close to being self employed as one can be but still get sick time, PTO, employer health insurance/pension etc, it's not being self-employed so you gotta show up, do the basics, turn in required paperwork on time, etc. and when you tell HRC that the reason you resist responding to her emails and requests for work product is because you have issues from your childhood with authority (the HRC suspects its female authority only)...see thats really just called being a passive aggressive sloth.

When she ponders what is up with grown man-sloths who wear only shorts to the forest office year-round in even freezing cold weather.  Man-child sloth? And if you are going to only wear shorts, please don't free ball, too. None of us need to see that and the HRC is totally willing to counsel you on that and you don't want to see the toothy look on a nutless chipmunk's face as she discusses your peek-a-boo balls and their inappropriateness in the forest.


And it is with all this she sits in her quiet corner of the glen, closes her door and thinks, "For this shit, I went to grad school?"

For This I Went to Grad School 2

File this under the topic of "for this she went to grad school?!"-- today HRC had to explain to a certain Golden Eagle Dean what "free balling" was. After a far-too-lengthy (hahahaha) explanation (because the Golden Eagle was missing the subtler explanations), the Chipmunk finally got thru to the bird brain. As the Golden Eagle Dean turned a feathery shade of pale, HRC left the inner sanctum of the tree of knowledge quietly singing her new favorite song "cuz I'm freeeeeeee, freeeee ballin'". Today was not a "win" for higher education in the Glen.

HRC is Elected!

The HRC has been unanimously reelected Chair of the Woodland Glen. Seems her gnawing on the base of the trees that support the nests of those who reside "on high" has favorable support after all.